Restoration Life Foundation

You Are Not Alone Ways to deal with being sexually abused 1. Remember that you are not alone. You aren’t the only one that has had this happen to them and there are people, support groups, and foundations that are there to support you. I have listed a few of these organizations below. www.restorationlifefoundation.org www.joyfulheartfoundation.org http://www.oakfnd.org/node/21 www.safehorizon.org 2. Be Brave Tell someone what has happened to you whether it is a friend, the police, or the doctor at the hospital when you go to get examined. Someone needs to tell the authorities so that they can help stop this from happening again. Protect yourself and others by being brave and stepping forward. 3. Remember that it’s not your fault Women often blame themselves when these things happen. They feel they could have been more careful or could have done things differently to avoid it. You have to know that it is not your fault that this happened to you. 4. Find tools to help you cope Take Self Defense classes, go to a support group, do something to make yourself feel comfortable in the world again. Spend time talking to people about what happened. Don’t hide from it and don’t hold it all in. The more you talk about it the easier it will be to let it go and have your life back.

My interview with Kathleen Frank….

“I’m Fat and Nobody Cares” addresses the rampant issue of obesity in the nation and helps the reader understand that there is more to being obese than overeating and lack of exercise. Sometimes there are hidden, psychological, self-esteem issues from events in life that contribute to obesity. Kathleen Frank describes her story in this interview and answers some of the questions that many of you have.

· What happened in your past that threatened your future?

o I was molested by my father and realized it at the age of 10, I woke up to it. After that I felt like a target; other men had sexually abused me and this continued until I married at the age of 17 to a man 8 years older than me, who was responsible for taking my virginity at the age of 12.

· What did you struggle with growing up and in adulthood?

o Not understanding what love was. I was dealing with a lot rejection from my mother. I told my mother about it but she refused to believe me and she carried on life as if it never happened. She was a busy person always involved in her community to the point she was never home. I developed a fear and an unhealthy relationship with my father who continued to physically and verbally abuse me while trying to sexually abuse me. When he tried to sexually abuse me I’d run or make excuses to leave the room. I had to fight him off and put security measures in place to make sure he didn’t touch me anymore. Living in my parents’ home was very difficult for me, daily I lived in fear. Additionally, I developed identity problems and made poor decisions. Eventually I felt I could not rely or trust anyone to the point that I became self-reliant in order to survive. As a teenager I felt my outside had more value than what was on the inside of me. I used sex as a means of power. Eventually, I became an extremely angry person and far too honest with my opinions. I was forced to grow up too fast. When I developed a weight problem, I didn’t know why until a few years ago; my weight issues was a way to hide myself so men wouldn’t see me attractive ….so they wouldn’t want me.

· How did the world around you perceive you as an obese woman?

o It was obvious; I’m only 5.3 and small framed but I was carrying 350+ pounds at a time when I was at the peak of my business. However, because I felt so inadequate, ugly , fat and insecure I stopped traveling, I stopped speaking and decided to go a different direction in my business only so I could hide in my office and not be out where people could see me. During this time I kept my skinny picture up on my website, and when emailing businesses my brochure the picture they saw of me was when I was not fat, when I looked my best. During times when I had no choice but to travel, most places I went to were in the Orient and some South American countries where people are typically tiny. When I entered these countries I always felt violated. Their stares, pointing fingers at me and comments were embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable. This caused me to get angrier to the point I would be enraged and go to my hotel room and cry…. begging God …to please help me. I remember one time here in the US, I was invited to be a keynote speaker, the sales manager forewarned his people and told them that, “The person you are about to meet, she is very obese, but don’t look at her outer appearance and judge her, she is professional, knowledgeable and impressive once you can look beyond her outer appearance.” I found out about this because someone from the group came to me and shared it with me. This became a huge obstacle for me; it caused me to be so intimidated and insecure that I didn’t want to leave my home….ever! I tried to diet and do everything I could to get the weight off; I even starved myself for 3 months and lived on protein shakes to lose the weight. I would lose some of the weight, but once I stopped the diet the fat would come right back and I would end up with more weight gain.

· What did you do and how did you feel about your obesity?

o I prayed, I dieted, I did everything I knew how to do but I never knew my problem stemmed from my childhood. Then one day I decided to journal my experience and feelings, and I prayed allot, I sought out counseling and inner healing, and while writing my book, “I’m Fat and Nobody Cares” I was able to get free from the trauma of my abuse. One important area I have learned through this ordeal is that Fatness does not always stem from eating too much or being lazy, I am not that person. I do not have an eating disorder, I’m not lazy; I work hard and actively involved with my friends and family. I run 3 businesses, plus a nonprofit and I’m a published author with several books on the market. However, through my research I found studies that prove our digestive system is our second brain; what we think and feel play a huge role in how we digest our food, how we feel, even how we carry sickness and develop disease. During my unhealthy time, I not only was morbidly obese, I developed hypothyroidism, type 2 diabetes, neuropathy, high blood pressure, and a few other serious issues. However, what saddens me most…. is how the trauma robbed me from living a joyful life.

What steps did you take to rid yourself of the anger and hate?

o I had to forgive those who harmed me and forgive myself. I can’t change the past; I can only use it to channel my future towards good. Although it took me 45 years to get to this point, today… I feel I’m on the right track. I want to spend the rest of my time here on earth to take better care of me while helping others like me get free.

· How do you feel today?

o I feel free. Although, I still battle with my mom and my brothers who are angry with me about my book because I exposed the truth. Even though my dad passed away 15 years ago, they don’t want to believe he was capable of doing such a horrific act. However, I have to keep my heart right by forgiving them and love them from a distance. There are too many people getting free from reading my book, and if I had to do it over again I wouldn’t change my mind in writing and publishing it.

· What are you doing today to help others who may struggle with the same battle?

o I have set up a nonprofit called, Restoration Life Foundation where we help women and girls above the age of 16 who suffer from the trauma of abuse. Whether they need counseling, a shoulder to cry on, an education, vocational training, clothes, food, a place to live ….we are here to offer these services, free of charge. Because of my travels, particularly in third world countries, I see a lot of devastation; women and girls, even kids who live in garbage dumps and left to die because there are very little to no resources for them. Many of them have been abused or are sex trafficked, they are helpless and they feel hopeless. At RLF we want to do all we can to change that! We want to make a difference, so they can be free and live purposeful lives!